Poltergeist
The Yankees will win the East.
I don't like it but that's just the way its going to be. I make this statement not out of frustration or hopelessness, its just a fact. Why? Because if my boys are truly destined to wear some bling-bling on their ring fingers come October we will have to face our ghosts of blown playoffs past.
Here's how this is going to play out: Yankees win the East, KC or ChiSox win the Central (it really doesn't matter, as you'll see shortly), and A's in the West. The Yankees will pummel the Central winner in 3 games (told you it wouldn't matter). We will have to fight for five games, probably a couple of extra inning games thrown in there somewhere in order defeat the A's and break the curse of us being their bee-atches in the post season in the early 90s.
Then comes the big bad mo' fo'
Don't bother watching the first 6 games of the series because it's going to go 7 games. We've never been able to win efficiently so we sure as hell aren't going to start when we're in the playoffs. This series is going to come down to the last inning. And this is the only way it can happen if we are going to cremate the bad mojo that follows of into the post season every time:
...Clemens vs Pedro, Darth Vader (before we found out he was Luke's Daddy) vs. Luke Skywalker, good vs evil, both will be on pace to complete the game. After eight innings Pedro picks his arm up off the mound and sits in the dugout. In the top of the ninth, somehow we'll get someone (probably Jackson via double and then wild pitch) on third with one out...then Clemens will get a blister and take himself out of the game and make his way directly to the local retirement office. Rivera will come in, get a 0-2 count on Manny. He will then strike him out. 2 outs. The big guys never deliver in the playoffs, its just a fact. Steinbrenner will then command Orosco to stand on the top step of the dugout with his walker so all the sox fans get the heebee geebees. Then Kapler will be at bat. Steinbrenner begins to use cashman as a human voodoo doll. 2 strikes and Mendoza pitches...Kapler makes contact and hits a bloop single, a run scores (its always a bench player who comes up big in these situations - case in point, Troy O'Leary in the '99 Series in Cleveland then they get swallowed up by the black hole known as mediocrity - this is also a textbook case of why you NEVER intentionally walk the #4 hitter in a playoff game because #5 is gonna bite you in the ass). Next batter pops up. After Nomar sews Pedro's arm back on he comes out and loads the bases with 2 outs and a 3-0 count on Giambi. He'll work the count to 3-2. Then, in order to beat the bad mojo like a rag doll in a crack house Pedro strikes out Giambi with a 98 mph fastball.
This is the only way it will happen. Get the Tums ready. Its going to be a very bumpy night.
Syndicate
