Post Season Nightmare....
It can't be normal to be having panic attacks thinking of the week that lies ahead for my boys.
It can't be normal to be having panic attacks thinking of the week that lies ahead for my boys. I'm twitchy, I can't concentrate on work, my ulcer is flaring and i'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up by the time the national anthem is played on Wednesday. By the way, would somebody please forward me the telephone number of the putz who decided the start times??? It was probably an A's fan thinking they're screwing us by making us stay up late and miss half of the second game. Little do they realize Sox fans will do Dunkies intravenously and call in sick the next day in order to watch. Don't f#@% with us, ya bunch of lemon-lime wearing pansies! We eat rock salt for breakfast, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. But I digress....I don't know who will be more pale, me or Brian Cashman when Jeff Weaver's pitching to David Ortz.
Has anyone else noticed the bandwagon for the Sox has gotten as big as David Wells pants! Funny thing about bandwagoners, if we get swept out they'll be the first to climb into the Yankees wagon, although I hear there's a weight limit which their pitching staff has pretty much filled. You should have to name at least 4 games the bullpen blew over the course of the season before you're allowed to root for them. Suffer through 162 games then come talk to me and my bottle of Valium.
If we're going to will this thing its going to take 5 games because if nothing else the Sox have never been efficient winners. We do quite well at losing though, quick and entirely painful. If this series goes to five games, I'll be visiting the liquor store, buying a jug of Kappy's Vodka (hey, it may be cheap, but it gets the job done, dammit) and doing a shot for every out in the game so that by the end I'll either be too drunk to care if we lost or just right to get the party started if we win.
Anyone want to take bets on how long into the game before I throw something at the uneducated dolts that will be commenting on the game on TV? Where do they find these boneheads and did they take a class in "How to Say the Worst Possible Thing at The Worst Possible Time to Jinx a Team"? Seriously, they could mention that a batter is .001 lifetime against Pedro and the next pitch would be a bomb that flies outside the stadium landing through a window in a little sushi place...in JAPAN.
Am I the only one who's not seeing "Cowboy-Up" as a rally cry? It's not that stirring a theme song and it makes us sound like were red necks from Maine. But then again if we win they can use "I Will Survive" and dance in tutus for all I care, as long as they match the jewelry they could be wearing by the end of the month.
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