Redsoxchickie: Just This Side of Stalking

Yup, ....I'm Crazy.

Ok, so everyone knows that Boston sports fans are the most superstitious people on the planet. Combine that with baseball, the sport played by the most superstitious group of players and it's a bonanza for therapists and pharmaceutical companies everywhere. I thought I'd provide a little insight as to what it is like to be a superstitious sports fan....in other words I'm letting my freak flag fly by telling the the voodoo I do during the baseball season.

Some general rules I like to follow in any season:

1. Never, ever, change the channel during the game unless specifically directed to do so. I your own home this is easy to master since you have free reign over the remote. In other people's homes its a little trickier as most people don't enjoy being screamed at when then check tomorrow's forecast between innings. In the end, if they know you and love you (and your idiosyncrasies) they will surrender the remote without a fight for the betterment of mankind.

1a. The channel may be changed if and only if you need to change the luck. Say the Sox are down by 5 runs and its looking particularly ugly. You may change the change then change it back to the game, thereby changing their luck. It's strange but it works most times.

2. Do Not Deviate. If getting a large French vanilla ice coffee with cream and 2 equals or eating chicken before every game coincides with Red Sox wins keep doing it.

3. If you have to leave the room, do it. If it takes you running in and out of a room or even in and out of your house to get a rally going, do not be ashamed. Your neighbors and roommates may look at you funny, but trust me, at the end of the season they'll be thanking you for it.

As with new seasons come new approaches to superstitions. Here are some of the scarier ones I put myself through in 2003.

1. "Opening Day" I signed up for one of those MBNA cards to get a free T-Shirt (I do this all the time to get the freebies since I know I always get turned down for the card. I'm a freebie whore!). I wore this T-shirt almost every night to bed during the season. I tried to break the habit but it seemed like every time I didn't wear it they'd lose the next night. Needless to say this thing was in rough shape by October (I washed it several times so don't get all skeeved, I'm superstitious, but I'm also hygienic)...It was faded, stretched out and had holes in it but I HAD to wear it. On the flip side I had a Gap T-shirt that was apparently sewn by Satan's minions because EVERY time I wore it we lost. I'm not even kidding, it was frickin' creepy. It will be burned to ashes by spring '04.

2. Working the Mojo. Its hard to explain this concept other than it make you look like you have some serious OCD issues. Whether it is running around the room, holding a certain pillow, holding a remote a certain way, anything to get the good vibes going, it was referred to as working the Mojo. Plus it's just a good explanation to keep the Prozac fairies away.

3. Every time Wakefield and Burkett pitched I couldn't watch. I was forced to change the channel whenever they were pitching because somehow if I watched them they would start lobbing grapefruits, but as soon as they came out of the game I'd have to watch the relief pitchers in order for them to do well. I can't explain it. It was especially hard not to watch Wakefield, in the summer heat, sweat glistening on his neck.....

4. At Fenway I would have to wear my Red Sox replica jersey because they always seemed to win when I was in house with it on. Even in 90 degree heat during a day game in the bleachers...polyester is a very unkind fabric. I think part of it is still adhered to my skin from that day.

5. During every playoff game that I watched at home I'd have to wear the same shirt...an old olive green T-shirt that had blotches of red from a bad clothes washer episode.

6. During both playoff series I drove to a train station I no longer needed to go to that was 10 minutes out of my way and then take the long way home to go to the 'lucky Dunkies' because I didn't want to mess up my routine.

And now I will make a confession....it wasn't Grady's fault or Pedro's fault that we didn't win the ALCS...its was mine, all mine!!!!! How could it possibly be my fault you ask? Well it was a series of failures to follow the routine that's how! The morning of Game 7 I woke up to go to work and realized I fell asleep in the wrong shirt! Then on my way home from work, I accidentally took the wrong way home. Then when Boone was up my rally candle burnt out just before he swung the bat. All of these distractions made me totally unable to find my Mojo! Its sad but true...quick, somebody fire me!!!