Redsoxchickie: Just This Side of Stalking

After seeing the previews for Fever Pitch I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve turned into Jimmy Fallon’s character, an all consumed, obsessed Sox fan…god help us all.

Want to know some of the signs? Look below and if you too have had any of the same thoughts you may want to seek counseling immediately…your life, unlike mine, may still be salvageable.

1. I contemplated dying my hair brown instead of red so it wouldn’t clash with the alternate red jersey that I wanted (ok so I did more than contemplate it, I tried it and in case you’re wondering, once you dye your hair red, you’re stuck).

2. You start a “Cask n’ Flagon” fund for opening day.

3. You go to 3 different Bob’s Stores to see who has the best merchandise.

4. You have a panic attack at the mention of a player getting hurt.

5. You check the calendar for games you have tickets to before committing to any kind of function that’s non-baseball related.

6. Yankees-Red Sox series are treated as three-day holidays.

7. You know you’re going to cry like A-Rod did after game 7 when they raise the banner and get the rings.

8. Get so excited that the season is starting that you forget to breath sporadically.

9. You’ve knitted 2 Red Sox Scarves and still aren’t happy with the outcome.

10. You’re 3 games into the season and you’ve already had 2 coronaries.

11. You spend the cold winter nights dreaming of boiled wieners and watery over-priced beer.

12. You have the important games set with reminders in your Outlook at work.

13. You consider selling a kidney to get the limited edition 2005 World Champs Opening Day commemorative Jason Veritek authentic jersey.

14. You recognize that Joe Buck and all other Fox broadcasters are Satan’s minions.

15. You get giddy at the ability to sing, “We are The Champions”.

16. Three quarters of your DVD collection involves sports DVDs.

17. Time is marked in 2 ways: Before 2004 and After 2004.

18. You’ve looked at the prices online to get married at Fenway Park and in fact have the whole thing planned out including the mini Fenway Franks in a blanket and serving the Miller Lite in the fancy keg cups.

If only I had been born in Montana, I could have been normal.