Redsoxchickie: Just This Side of Stalking

I've only just emerged from the emotional cocoon where I resided in the fetal position wrapped in a blanket of bitterness and despair. Ok, maybe that was just a wee bit of an exaggeration....but I was really peeved and semi-tearful. After all, he was my future husband.

Ok, I've come to terms with Theo leaving me without so much as consulting me before he leaves the Red Sox in virtual ruins. Whether it was the limelight, the stress or the smackdowns with Lucchino, it doesn't matter, he's gone and he's not changing his mind....no matter how hard I stick pins in my Lucchino and Dan Shaunessy voodoo dolls. There's a bigger question to answer: DEAR GOD WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!?!?!?!

Is no one else panic stricken? We have Johnny in free agency, a starting rotation that if you sew all the functioning parts would give us 1 reliable starter besides Wakefield, a non-existent bullpen, and an unhappy Manny...again, and its November!!! Spring Training is only four months away! Sweet Jesus we're screwed.

Who could they possibly get to replace Theo? Anyone who's any good already has a damned job by now. And Billy "I'd trade Veritek because I'm a dumbass" Beane is SO not coming anywhere near Fenway. I have horrifying visions of a Dan Duquette-type moron running the team again that will deplete the minors, where for the first time in decades we have some actual talent, in order to get over the hill, overpriced rehab projects with bad attitudes. Anyone remember Jose Offerman???? We get a GM like that and Fenway will resemble New Orleans after Katrina, you know, without all the looting, violence and George Bush ineptitude.

CLEARLY there's only one answer: I must immediately work on my resume and have it over-nighted to John Henry. We need someone who's emotionally invested in the team, knows how to get a good bargain for quality items and doesn't mind getting in a good screaming match with Lucchino. Trust me, you don't want to see me when I get angry.......

Stay tuned for my GM resume....