Redsoxchickie: Just This Side of Stalking

If we get Clemens back how am I supposed to feel?

I've spent the last 15 years hating his guts because not only did he eventually go to Satan's team but he bad mouthed Boston on the way out...which as far as I'm concerned, once you do that you're dead to me, just like Friedo and Michael Corleone - without the uncomfortable man kiss. Am I just supposed to forget everything and welcome him back with open arms like a jilted girlfriend? I say hell's no! Before I forgive he's going to have to do some major groveling....I'm talking about asking forgiveness for every bad thing he's ever said about Boston Fans, state unequivocally that Boston is the best place to play on the face of the earth AND he's going to have to prove himself a real team player. Its was awkward enough with the egos of Schilling and Pedro in the same clubhouse, but at least we had Millar to keep things loose. Can the clubhouse survive those two in close quarters or will they take turns calling into 'EEI and make late night postings on the S.O.S. boards? I envision a keg of gunpowder and everyone tip-toeing around the fuse. An don't even get me started if he decides to go back to the Yankees.

Was there anything cooler than seeing Mirabelli hope out of a State Trooper truck after landing at Logan 10 minutes before hand, in full uniform and get whisked into the park like he was one of the Beatles, then see him take the field with about 60 seconds to spare? That's immediately going on the 2006 highlight reel. I say this is a better use of my tax money than the Big Dig. I thought it would be impossible to outdo the Cheer or Jeer Johnny Debate, but only in Fenway can an ex-star centerfielder who helped win the first world series in 86 years get boo'd and a back-up catcher from the same World Series team get a standing ovation in his first at bat and huge applause on catching the first knuckleball of the night.

Fenway vendors are an illegal monopoly! How is it not illegal to charge $6.50 for a watered down beer, $4.00 for a coffee from Dunkies, and $4.75 for a bottle of water, where outside of the park all three items would total $6.00? I demand an inquiry! This is worse than the cable monopoly!