Redsoxchickie: Just This Side of Stalking

For Baseball fans and the communist sympathizing non-baseball fans alike...

Did someone turn Manny into the bionic man while he was out with his oblique? He’s running like Flo Jo around the bases all of a sudden…that’s right I said Flo Jo, I can’t figure out how either ran that fast with all that hair weighing them down.

I’d give up martinis for a year if Manny would shave his dreads off.

I watch the View every day just to see what idiotic things Elizabeth Hasselbeck will say and how many times she’ll say she was on Survivor and correlate it to something completely unrelated.

Its playoff time and you know what that means…its time to bring out The Candle of which we never speak!

Should I wear the same shirt to sleep that I’ve been wearing for the last month? And if so do I dare wash it? This is a rhetorical question.

Between the new TV season and the playoff games I fully expect my DVR to blow up like fireworks on the 4th of July.

Less than 24 hours until my ulcer flares, my stomach turns into knots, and I’m reduced to a blubbering mess in the fetal position on my couch.

I’m not going to lie; the Yankees were making me sweat like Britney before a drug test until we finally won the AL East.

The Colorado player who scored the winning run last night never touched the plate, and I’ve never seen a face bounce quite like that off the ground…twice (shuddering).

I had to explain to a Honda technician the shaking my car was making and all I could think of was the scene in Airplane where Robert Hayes is explaining the shaking the airplane is making….ahhhh the classics!

If you watch “Chuck”, last night there was a funny line when he was rambling off government secrets and he had one about how “Oceanic flight 815 was shot down by military…” and he drifts of into another rambling…I would think it was interesting but I don’t think NBC would be plugging and ABC show.

I don’t understand people who can sit through a whole concert…I’m talking not getting up from their seat even once! They’re dead inside I tell you!

I still hate Canada.

And for all of you that need to be reminded of the rules for the playoffs here’s a little refresher:

1. Do not call about something non-game related DURING the game.
2. Do not call about something game related unless we were clearly robbed on a call, a brawl breaks out, or we’re up 15-0.
3. Actually, don’t call me at ALL!!! I don’t want a phone call, a text message or an email…I don’t even want to see smoke signals wafting by unless its to say a ballplayer is coming to my house with a bottle of wine, a pizza and wearing nothing but a smile!!!!!!!!!!
4. Don’t call me, I’ll call you!

That said, enjoy the game!