Redsoxchickie: Just This Side of Stalking

[RSC still has connection issues, so here is her latest...]

In general those of us who have spent large portions of our lives clutching to the metaphorical handrail of the Titanic when the Red Sox ship was circling the drain have welcomed those of you newbies who have decided to hitch a ride since 2004, because we’re all about sharin’ the love, people…HOWEVER….

I understand people who end up watching the game because everyone around them is talking about it, so they suddenly get into rooting for the Red Sox. I can live with that. But it’s when people start complaining about the players on the team, or how much sleep they’ve lost because of last night’s game, or how they blew a lead when they didn’t know Beckett from Buckner a month ago, THAT’S when I get aggravated.

Now I’ve been able to get a few of my friends who previously had no desire to sit through a game before I was able to convert them to the wonderful and gut wrenching world of baseball. Now they actually get excited about some of the games and want to watch them with me (mainly to see exactly how my nervous breakdowns progress during the course of nine innings – I’m basically the equivalent of a psychiatric ride at Disneyland). But they know they can’t talk smack about my boys for fear of a five minute tirade about why they’re wrong complete with historical references, footnotes and visual aides.

I’m hardcore, as are most card carrying fans of Red Sox Nation. Did one of your parents ever look you dead in the eye on a summer day in the backyard while listening to the sox lose in spectacular fashion and tell you “The Red sox will never win a World Series in my lifetime, I hope to Christ they manage to do it in yours”??? That’s the hardcore reality of being me. I bleed red!...(I know, everyone bleeds ‘red’ but I bleed Red Sox Red! I know because I checked it against the paint swatch from Home Depot) I eat Yankees series for breakfast! I stay up for 18 inning games in April! I spit pine tar! I’ve clearly had too much coffee today!!!!

Some advice for the newbies: Don’t talk about the war unless you have the battle wounds to show for it. I have more emotional scars from being a Red Sox fan from the time I was crawling to the present day to qualify me for a decade’s worth of free therapy.

Unless you can name 3 times the Red Sox have ripped your still beating heart from your chest, thrown it to the ground and had a 500 lb Sumo wrestler do an Irish jig on it, sit down, shut up, and enjoy the free ride because I am NOT holding your candy-ass hand through the World Series!